You are in control of your schedule, your body and how you feel

For today’s topic, we’re going to be talking about a response I see  that comes up time and time again.

The response: “I don’t have the time”.

I don’t have time

First of all when people say to me “I don’t have time” my answer is always: “You do have time we all have the same amount of time. We all have 24 hours in our day but you’re just choosing different things with your time and that’s okay.”

It’s not that what I’m trying to say here is that you’re a bad and wrong person because you’re making those choices. What I’m trying to say is that you do in fact have the time you’re just prioritizing to make different choices with what’s going on for you and in your life.

What I generally ask people to do at this point when they get that sort of feedback from saying “I don’t have time” is to really just ask yourself: What is important to you in your life right now and is this your season for that change?

So if you’re somebody who says, “Okay this is the time I really want to focus on changing my body shape, I really want to get into shape, I want to feel mentally and physically fit, I want to feel motivated, I want to look in the mirror and feel confident about what I see.” If all of these things are where you’re at and you are not making time to exercise and to eat healthily then that is a choice. Saying you don’t have the time is just an excuse.

 

[Related: What to do if you are not just motivated]

Is this your season?

After hearing that,  some respond with : “But I have young kids or I am looking after a sick family member or I’ve just started a new job.”

In this case, it is maybe not your season to focus on these goals. And this is OK.

And in fact, by saying that you do not have time, you are actually taking away not from the fact you are in charge of your choices but that you are choosing to do something truly awesome- care for another person when they need it or focus on your career or family.

Maybe you’re in a season of life where you kind of want to do these things like you do want to get into shape, you want to eat healthily, you want to feel better but you’ve just started a new relationship, you’ve just started a new job, maybe you have new babies or young kids at home or you’ve just gone through a big transition in your life.

Maybe this is not your season and there’s no judgment with that.

There’s no ‘you’re bad’ or ‘you’re wrong’ but when we say we have no time, we are in essence saying we are just prioritizing other things.

Other important things. And if we say we do not have the time because of that we will just end up resenting those other things rather than just embracing the fact this is not your season and you just need to be graceful with yourself.

The difference is, if we are being truly honest with ourselves when our life goes a bit crazy we just blame ‘not having the time’ when really you didn’t make the time, or the commitment or the intention to spend your time the way you planned.

This is then just an excuse.

If this is resonating with you, there is no right or wrong when it comes to how you spend your time, there’s just you being honest with yourself and being clear on what you want in this moment.

So say for example you do say to me, “Okay Lisa I do want to change my body shape. I do want to eat healthily. I do want to feel more confident. I do want to be able to look in that mirror and feel sexy and feel strong” and you’re not prioritizing exercise or healthy eating then that is indeed a choice.

So rather than you saying I don’t have time, it’s better for you to frame that question with “it’s not my priority” and see how that sits with you.

If you are looking to change your shape and you don’t make time to exercise or you don’t make time to eat differently then that’s not really your priority.

Little harder to swallow that, isn’t it?

Find an hour

If you want to prioritize your self-care and look after your mental, physical and emotional health you need to find one hour in your day.

If you can’t find one hour a day in your life to do these essential things for you,  then in all honesty, you don’t have a life!

Pretty strong talk right?

But it’s true!

If you can’t find one hour for you in your day then you aren’t living your life, you are just living to serve everyone else.

You’re people-pleasing, you’re putting everybody else’s needs, wants and health ahead of your own and that is not going to work for you long-term.

[Related: Lacking motivation? You need to hear this]

Are you a people-pleaser?

If you can’t make an hour of your day for you, you’re living your life for every single other person first.  The problem is that that this continual people-pleasing, this continual giving of yourself and your energy, will result in you becoming unhealthy. Possibly becoming very unhealthy and working into disease, sickness, and illness.

I’m not trying to scare you but this is what I know to be true from my own personal experience. My mum was a mum to seven children and later became a social worker. All she did was people please and she had really unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with this. She died before she was 61 years old from cancer because she had really bad coping mechanisms of how to deal with the the emotional toll of always giving to others and never prioritizing her own self care or her own desires.  Having that many children and not making time for herself and looking after herself accumulated in her illness and ultimately her death.

She was one of those amazing people that constantly gives and gives but if you’re somebody who only people pleases and is constantly giving and don’t leave anything in the tank for you that is where it ends in bad choices with your nutrition, with exercise, with your emotional and coping mechanisms and that’s where we see really bad trouble happening.

So even if you’re saying to me “Well I’m a mum of young kids I can’t get up an hour earlier than the babies” then that comes back to my initial statement which is maybe this is not your season and that is okay. It’s okay to give yourself grace during certain periods of your life but that is not what we’re talking about here and this is where you need to dig deep and be honest and take some responsibility, if you are somebody who is looking to make changes to your body shape change and health.

You are in charge of your schedule

Guest what? You are an adult woman in charge of your own schedule.

“But my boss needs me to do this and my boss needs me to do that” then you have to understand that by making those choices to your schedule because of your boss you’re doing so because you want to keep your job or to do really well in your job and that is OK but that is a choice because nothing is added to your schedule without your permission.

It’s still your choice!

If your boss wants you to do that at a certain thing one day of the week then you need to make time later in the week to get your workouts in, to do the things for you, and ask yourself well what CAN do with the time you do have.  

Or, you can say No.  Or offer a different option at work.  Your workout time is the same as attending a doctor’s appointment. Would you so easily reschedule that doctor’s appointment?:

“Okay well I can’t come to class because I’ve had to work later.”

Then get up earlier the next morning and get your workout in before you go to work or workout from home”.

“I’ve had to have an early start or an early flight” Can you get a home-based workout in later that evening and can you move your body for up to 30 minutes? Can you go for a walk? Can you still drink your two liters of water? Can you still take your supplements every day?”

“I have to eat the food I am giving at work today as there’s a training or conference”

No you don’t, you can bring your own, or ask ahead about a non bread option or alternative.  If you don’t stand up for your beliefs, then this too is your choice.

 

I am being strong with you today and this is a little bit of a loving smackdown but I hear this all the time, “I don’t have time, my boss needs me to do this, my kids need me to do this, etc.”

The average person sets pens between three and four hours in front of the TV watching Netflix, watching movies, watching TV.

Well how much time you’re spending in front of Netflix or watching TV?

If you’re saying, “Well that’s how I relax and unwind” my question to you would be, “Is that the most healthy way for you to learn to relax or rest and recover?”

In my experience the healthier option for somebody would be to go for a walk, to do a workout or to do some sort of training session or just go to bed and sleep move.

All of these options are going to ultimately lead to better health long term rather than you being so exhausted that the only thing that you can do to unwind is to try to keep your eyes open and stare at a screen.

You are in control of how you feel

You are in charge of your schedule, you are also in charge of your body so if you say to me, “I really want to eat healthily but I don’t know how or I don’t have time to do that or I really want to eat healthily but I don’t like broccoli, kale, etc.”

You are an adult and you are making the choice. It’s your responsibility but if you can’t enjoy kale then find something else that you can enjoy that also has similar properties such as spinach or cauliflower.

It’s not my priority

My invitation to you is next time you go to hear yourself say “I want something” and then your next statement is, “I don’t have time” rephrase it with “that’s just not my priority” and see how that feels.

If it doesn’t feel right to you, when you are truly honest then you need to make different choices with your time.  If it feels that other things in your life are a great priority for right now, then stop guilting and shaming yourself into feeling bad. Give yourself some grace.

You are in control

Can you carve out one hour per day for you to achieve your goals?

In one hour per day you should be able to do all of your goal-setting,  gratitude,  take your supplements and move your body for up to 30 minutes in one hour.

That could be one hour for yourself. 

You can get up one hour earlier if you’re not a morning person like me I don’t get up an hour earlier, I generally stay awake a little bit later or I do some of it in the morning and some of it in the evening and I get it done throughout the day.

You need to catch yourself when you’re making these excuses and you need to take responsibility to make the choice for you.

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Lisa Barwise

Author Lisa Barwise

Hi, I'm Lisa. I consider myself a Wellness Alchemist, the catalyst in the transformation of Strong Women around the world. Strong of mind, body and character.

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